Lessons Learned From A Disciplemaker
It’s the end of 2023. It’s also the end of my tenure as a disciplemaker…not completely, but specifically with the women that I’ve had an opportunity to walk with for many years of their life. Discipleship was one of the few commissions God deeply placed in my heart; it is something I have a passion for and believe every follower of Christ must take part-in. Why? Because Jesus commands us in Matthew 28:19-20.
I’ve Learned…
Throughout my tenure as a disciplemaker, I have learned that I am preparing the Bride of Christ, the Church, for Jesus' return. The people who are in Jesus are the bride and require purification for the coming Bridegroom, Jesus. Just as there was a betrothal period in biblical times during which the bride and groom were separated until the wedding, so is the Bride of Christ separated from her Bridegroom during the Church age which is now. 2 Corinthians 11:2 states, “For I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ.” Our responsibility as the universal Church is to be faithful to our Bridegroom while in the waiting of his return by not just preparing ourselves personally, but preparing the Church (his Bride) as well.
With 2024 just days away, I assume most everyone is writing down their New Year’s resolution. I encourage you to commit one of your resolutions to being a disciplemaker. If you consider yourself a “beginner”, don’t worry…you don’t have to have a one-on-one discipleship relationship. Discipleship can look different from the American Christian culture norm. I attended Jackie Hill Perry’s Glory conference earlier this year, and was provided a new perspective for discipleship. In short–many people are looking for one-on-one discipleship. But when we look in Scripture, and read how Jesus and the Apostles made disciples; we hardly read narratives of a one-on-one engagement. What we read the majority of the time is a community being discipled together. God set up the Church institution in such a way to create discipleship relationships. In today’s Church age, this can be translated into ministries that you probably partake in such as men’s, women’s, youth, etc. Per Perry, members within a church are not utilizing the church’s discipleship outlets because they have a warped mindset in which discipleship must be one-on-one. Even though it’s a nice thing to have, it isn’t the only thing to have. Integrate yourself as a leader in a ministry, open yourself to others so they can inquire being taught by you one-on-one, become a part of the discipleship community to prepare the Church for Christ. Do not be concerned because the Lord will surely equip you for the job. “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few” (Matthew 9:37).
Lessons I learned…
I began discipling my first young woman at 19 years old and from there discipled a handful of young women over the next decade, two of which remained with me long-term. I did a lot of wrong things, and a lot of “right” things. Most of all, I did a lot of leaning into the Holy Spirit to help me walk with the young women God entrusted to me. When walking alongside one-on-one with these young women, I too, was taught many things. And that is the humbling factor–God is also teaching you through your disciple. My hope in sharing my key five lessons learned through one-on-one discipleship is so you can learn from my mistakes and begin your journey with some perspective.
Devotional books or books about God are not the best resources. They may be good in some situations, but they are not the best. When I used devotional books and books about God, it felt more like a book club than anything else, which in turn did not allow for in-depth conversations. I found the Bible (obviously) to be the best resource to walk through with a disciple. You not only challenge yourself as a disciplemaker, but you challenge the disciple to do their part in reading Scripture for what it is. I have seen greater growth through the reading of the Bible than any other book I tried. The best feeling in the world is hearing your disciple speak Truth to you and begin to unravel Scripture on their own.
Don’t make your discipleship engagement only about reading the Bible. Meet your disciple where they are at–meaning, inquire the whereabouts of their heart, desires, the sins they may have or are struggling to control. Guide them with the Bible and advise them when asked. Sometimes, the best thing to do is just listen unless advice is requested.
Meet on a regular basis and make it a priority. Do not allow months to go by and informally meet them after or during church; avoid meeting them in between ministry. I was young then, and only did this a couple times. However, it wasn’t fair for me to take away from someone’s fellowship time with other believers because I didn’t find convenient time outside of church / ministry events. I learned to make discipleship a priority rather than a sidebar in my life. I have seen proof of how effective this is in the morale of the discipleship relationship because I shifted my priority instead of engaging only at convenient times.
Accountability is hard but it is a part of the role. I am not a people pleaser, so confronting accountability wasn’t the problem. I did, however, have a fear of people misunderstanding my words in my 20s. This was something I had to learn how to do well through many failed attempts. A disciple of Christ (not just your own) must be held accountable and placed at the standard of the Bible. The conversation will be uncomfortable, but I have learned that placing yourself in those uncomfortable conversations produces life-giving fruit. State the fact(s), understand the reasoning, discuss the natural consequence, then convey what the Word of God says, and redirect on how they can pursue holiness. One of the most crucial component to accountability is the follow up—don’t forget this part.
Reflect on growth with your disciple and affirm God’s working in their life. As the disciplemaker, you should have a well rounded understanding of who your disciple is to see their areas of growth. I think the beauty of having walked alongside two individuals for over five years is seeing their growth in their faith, and illumination of Christ in their life. It is so important to affirm the growth you see based on what was initially present. For anyone, it is a taste of sweet honey to hear how God has sanctified you, and to hear how an outside party has seen God’s hand at work.
Disciplemakers are God's agents for his redeeming plan for creation. This means that we have more to hope for when we sit across the table from our disciples, children, peers or in a room of our fellow ministry members. Disciplemakers aren’t merely teaching people of God to be like Jesus and that’s the end of it. We, who choose to take on the Great Commission, are taking part in preparing the Church to be pure and holy before our returning Bridegroom, Christ, for eternal glory. At the end of this church age, the Church will be reunited with her Bridegroom. Revelation 19:7 exclaims, “Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready.” Christ and the wedding ceremony will take place where we will be in eternal union with Christ in the Kingdom of heaven.
Will you be a laborer?
“The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few.”
Matthew 9:37
As I end this chapter of discipleship-making, I want to say a special thank you to each of my disciples for letting me be a part of your journey in Christ. I hope you’ve been blessed by our discipleship relationship just as much as I have been. Not one of our meetings went to waste, and every session I can confidently say God’s Word did not go void. I hope and pray the same for you as well. I want you all to know that I carry each of you in a very special part of my heart with overflowing love. May God bless you with an abundance of the Fruit of the Holy Spirit and faith in Christ.
CY